Tomorrow Scotland Decides

Dear (or should that be "Expensive?) Scotland:

Now that campaigning is all but over I feel it is safe to say to all the Scottish undecided voters; there is something you may want to consider, which I hope will help you make up your minds.

Please, please vote for secession and show us how wrong we are and how you can become the proud and independent nation you keep telling us you are. Fall in behind that smiling, avuncular and ever jovial Mr Salmond and march off into the sunlit upland of a free, prosperous and independent Scotland....

Meanwhile, back on planet earth... the Three main parties have all been telling you that "We're Better Together", The truth is it's a lie and all of them know it. The real truth is the majority of the rest of the British Isles don't want you to stay. We're sick of supporting you when all you do is whine and moan and continue in your Westminster supported, alcohol fuelled, benefit dependant, Socialist wet dream. Like un-weaned babies you have been bottle fed an infant's formula, The Barnet Formula. This has left you in a position of thinking that dependency is the norm and, somehow, a birthright.

The only reason the Labour Party and the Lib-Dems want you to stay is that they know that without their Scottish MP's they are dead in the water at next year's General Election. The Tories haven't stayed away from the campaign because they are toxic north of the border, they've steered clear because secretly they want you to go and take your Soviet, Union's loving Labourtites and the woolly, some would say feeble, minded wet and weary Liberals with you. Sadly though I think that there are too many of you who are savvy enough not to be turkeys willing to vote for an early Christmas or to elect yourselves to Third World, basket case, economic status.

For me the most amazing thing that has come out of watching this slow motion political car crash is that I thought I would never see a more loathsome, smug, self gratifying, disingenuous, or deceitful politician than Tony B Liar in my lifetime, but then up pops the afore mentioned Alec Salmond. He and Tony B are like buses, you wait a lifetime and then two come along almost together. Please jump on board your Mr Salmond's bus Scotland, it's not going where you think it is but from our perspective here in the rest of Great Britain the further away it takes you from the rest of us, the better off we will be.